Slay queens

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How to identify a slay queen.

The name slay queen/King has been thrown around so much, first of all not all pretty faces are slay queens to most that is an over estimation that’ll get to her head to the rest it is an insult that may go punished.

A slay queen is literally who slays. Slays what? You may ask, we have no idea but she is slaying ‘it’ whatever it might be. A slay queen is a woman or girl who chokes the world with her beauty, just the men. I hear women hate their kind. However all slay queen are women but not all women are slay queen, sure to the thirsty, hungry eye of men they all seem that way but sadly we bestowed a title that was ill deserved.

To understand a slay queen we must look at the real one, one of the first. Rihanna, Rihanna is… I just love Riri so bad, lemme just say if you read this Rihanna I will lose my mind. Anyway a slay queen such as Rihanna has met all variables to being a slay queen whereas most slay queens only meet one variable ‘have a sweet voice while saying my name’ “aki bae”

Over the small miserable era that slay queens have dominated the weak willed minds of men, some normal females have sneaked themselves, quite rudely I might add to a category that they have no to zero right being in. These normal girls ‘I shall dub them that for the sake of this article’ any name and references used in this article are purely fictional and bear no affiliation to the real world. As I were, normal girls have a tendency of associating themselves with slay queen expecting the same favors and treatment dulled to slay queens.

For a slay queen some worldly items are considered insults; Food that only gets eaten by a spoon and not a full set of cutlery, drinks that don’t come like in a wine or less that 1,280 which we had to know was the cheapest drink for their status, public transportation, apparently this was made for the public and not them no matter the distance, no matter the severity slay queen arbor public transportation and last but not least dare tell them no when they ask for 7k so as their friend Mishy can be brought back to life after being…. You know you have to say yes and appear loving by adding some on top for fun.

For normal girls who are by heart close to us men, they exist in a realm called compromise and in this vast realm that we have dubbed compromise here are some of the compromises that go down: The most expensive meals is fries with a quarter side of chicken, do not worry, yes you won’t eat with a full set of cutlery but you know what you’ll use, your hands because we have a matatu to catch to take us back to our homestead.

Drinks are what we drink, by we I mean I so if it’s furaha for 140bob get ready to be happy, I learned if you have a fancy cup pour it in and there is not much difference. Asking for money is a normal but rare thing, here is where you know where you stand, should you ask for money you’ll be quickly reminded of the 700 handed to you on Monday.

Being a slay queen does not give you the right or the platform to be undeniably stupid, holding conversations with some of these females is so frustrating and stressful, they spew nonsense and portray ignorance of the highest manner. Being pretty is all well and good but this world is a very deadly place and looks can only get you so far, I may be using this to work out some issues but relying on physical appearances and cool ass captions isn’t slay (did I use that right)

Normal girls have no right to be stupid no matter the reason; you may be daft but only for a little while no more than that.


I have first hand witnessed the strength of the liver that belongs to these women, drinking a mere Jameson before class poses no problem. Health problems can be fixed with money or drinks of the glug glug alcohol, Kim, who buys the alcohol? I don’t that is not… we don’t talk about that just yet.

Normal girls have regular livers drinking then passing out after.

No matter what type of girl you are or have come to realize to be, have no worry for the all mighty is here.

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